Britt, 28. I am a multifandom mess, but I post mostly The Foxhole Court, the Witcher, Our Flag Means Death, Heartstopper, Shadow and Bone, Schitt's Creek, Bridgerton, Disney, and gymnastics. icon by violetchachkii
could u write sth about jerejean fighting?? i love how theyre portrayed super soft and in love a lot bc they both deserve that but i was jw if u had any thoughts on how a fight could go down (w a happy ending ofc) love ur blog/writing!!
Here you go, dear! Thank you so much! I hope this is what you were looking for!
–
At this point, he doesn’t even remember how the argument started.
The intermediate space between Jeremy retiring from a knee injury and Jean still having two more years before his contract ended made things somewhat tense. It was hard to adjust between having the whole house to himself to suddenly sharing space again. Meanwhile, being so close to the playoffs always stressed Jean out to a higher degree than normal.
Jean’s team had an off week, and they had both been excited to have some time together in person. However, after their initial enthusiastic reunion, Jeremy could tell the stress was getting to him. He had reached out to touch his hand during dinner and Jean had flinched away. Jeremy apologized and he knew it wasn’t Jean’s fault and he didn’t blame him, but it still stung a bit. He wanted to be there for him, to comfort him through what was bothering him, but sometimes Jean needed space.
Before he knew it, though, three days had gone by and Jean was retreating farther and farther into himself. Jeremy sat next to him on the couch, leaving enough space between them that Jean didn’t feel crowded. He held out his hands palm up and said, “When you’re ready to talk, I’m here.”
Jean didn’t acknowledge his words, just let his jaw work for a silent minute. Apparently, something in Jeremy’s expression must have frustrated Jean, because he lashed out and said, “You can’t help me.”
“At least help me understand,” Jeremy said, trying to take away some of the pain Jean was clearly pushing down.
“You can’t understand!” Jean finally said, digging his fingers into his thighs.
Jeremy stood up, not wanting to push the issue. If Jean was in this kind of a headspace, he didn’t want to say something that would make things worse. He couldn’t help the frustration in his voice as he said, “When you’re ready to stop pushing me away, you know where to find me.”
About two seconds after the words left his lips, he regretted it. He sighed and said, “I’m sorry. We’ll talk in the morning. I’ll take the couch tonight. I love you.”
Jean was still tense, but he looked like he was managing as he nodded and murmured a distracted, “J’etaime,” as Jeremy left the room. He waited until he was curled up in a quilt on the couch to let himself sob softly into the pillow.
–
Jean lay in bed unable to sleep for about 3 hours before giving up and dragging the comforter down the stairs. He was sorry for lashing out at Jeremy, but he couldn’t find a way to vocalize everything he was feeling. He didn’t want to put Jeremy at risk and he also didn’t want to hurt Jeremy. Still, he knew being honest was important to their relationship and he couldn’t sleep without making things right.
He leaned down next to the couch and lightly brushed Jeremy’s hair out of his face. His eyes were red-rimmed and Jean had to swallow against the rush of anger he felt toward himself. He tried to breathe and use the coping skills his therapist had shown him.
Jeremy stirred and he croaked out a “Hey…couldn’t sleep?”
Jean shook his head and Jeremy’s expression softened. He moved over to make room for Jean to crawl in by him. “Are you okay being touched?”
Jean nodded and he curled their hands together between their bodies. They lay there in silence for a moment before Jean finally said, “I’m sorry. For snapping. You didn’t deserve it.”
Jeremy just nodded and kissed the hollow of his throat.
He continued, “I can’t always promise to be able to talk to you about it though. Sometimes it’s just…” he trailed off, gesturing towards his head.
“I understand. I shouldn’t have pushed. I just don’t want you to have to go through this alone.”
“I know I’m not alone, mon cher. We can talk about it it in the morning. Go back to sleep.”
Jeremy nodded sleepily and tucked his head under Jean’s chin. “Good. Didn’t like sleeping alone.”
Jean kissed Jeremy’s forehead and stayed awake until he heard his breathing even out.
Reminder that fanfic as a whole humanizes queer relationships more than almost any other form of storytelling out there, and it is not dirty or inherently fetishizing to enjoy it✌🏼
Additional reminder that fanfic has been a gateway for literally thousands of people to realize and explore their own sexuality in a place that is safer and more understanding than most offline spaces. It has allowed people to realize they are trans, ace, gay, not gay, pan, bi, demi, nonbinary. It has been a place of support for queer people since before a good percentage of fandom was born. And saying who gets to enjoy what part of fandom in which way is completely antithetical to the whole point of fanfic.
There is no other course of action to be concluded. You must stop! It has been you. It has been you this entire time. Spinning my world off its axis, making me reconsider everything I have ever told myself.
being so fr when I say that transmisogyny has put feminism back like 50 years
what i thought we had distanced ourselves from was the reduction of women to vaginas and wombs and the ability to bear children. i thought we had progressed past ‘dresses are for women and pants are for men.’ i thought we progressed past the idea that someone is less of a woman if she does not adhere strictly to beauty standards. i thought we progressed past the idea that naturally being comfortable adhering to highly feminine standards is vulgar. but i (sarcastically) guess no one could have predicted that trans-exclusive feminism would be the downfall of all the progress we’ve made
